Mistress Jay
by ABlade
Summary: Being a Wayne means you have secrets, Andrea "Andy" Wayne is no different. How will The Joker handle it when he finds out her secret though? sorry suck at summaries
1. Ch1: Fetch the Prince

**A/N: This is an older fanfic I started over two years ago, complete with the original footnotes :) **

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><p>"Step away from my client Gordon." A female voice cut though the air, it was razor sharp and full of malice. The woman spoke from the doorway, as she stepped in her eyes met the Joker's for a heartbeat and he could see the tears there, she looked about ready to cry and it was all he could do not to burst out laughing. Then she had blinked when her eyes came back open they were cold, calculating, sharp as a knife staring right at Commissioner Gordon.<p>

"Andy?" He said taking a step back in shock. Andria Wayne was the only know living relative of Bruce Wayne so the two cousins were very close, however they were also very different. She was only a little over five and a half feet tall she had black hair that was pulled into a tight bun. Her skin was slightly tanned and one could guess when her hair was down to frame that beautiful face with full ruby lips it would still look pale, just not sickeningly so. Her eyes were a pure violet color and they looked black right now so it was clear she was very pissed.

"My client has a right to representation and he also has a right to a privet cell and some respect. That is unless you want post this many guards on EVERYONE you bring into custody." She said walking into the room and inserting her body between the two men and facing Gordon. The Joker sat there stunned as the woman put her back to him, facing down the commissioner like a mother wolf protecting her pup.

"Andy you don't really mean to defend this monster." Gordon said in utter shock. He wondered for a fleeting moment what Mr. Wayne would say if knew his cousin was offering her services to this sicko.

"To deny men the ability to learn better ways and then punish them for what they become. Is that not monstrous?" She asked flatly. "I have an order that you will release this man into my custody, until the trial. I assume you are planning to have trial for him and not just burning him at a stake on top of city hall?" She spoke with contempt in her voice as she pulled a paper out of her briefcases and handed it to Gordon. It was then that The Joker noticed her charm bracelet with its two silver jester hats on either side of what had to be the smallest joker card he had ever seen in a little glass box framed in silver. He took a second look at her, noting the dark purple jacket with its matching skirt, black pantyhose and dark purple shoes.

"I'm not going to let this madman go with you Andy." Gordon said.

"Then you'll lose your job and everything that goes with it." Andy said calmly turning around and hauling Joker to his feet by his arm. She turned to walk him out and he let her lead him wanting to see how things would play out for him. She moved her hand down his arm not letting him go and lifted his arms to a guard on the outside of the cell. The officer looked at Gordon not sure what to do.

"Make sure Daddy approves it." The Joker scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Tell your lapdog to take off his cuffs and let us out." Andy said in agreement with the Joker's comment. She was still behind the Joker slightly as if guarding his back with her body knowing Gordon wouldn't go through her. Glancing over her shoulder at him standing there glaring down at the judge's signature across the order of release, he wondered what would make the judge sign this? Gordon looked up and nodded she heard the officer reach in and unlock the cuffs before he opened the door. They stepped though into the small hallway she shifted her briefcase to the other hand and slid the now empty one around through The Joker's arm.

"What say we go get some of your toys?" she whispered to him like he was child. He nodded slightly and adjusted his arm automatically to a more formal angle. He was after all a higher class of criminal, and if she had shown up to get him out of jail, which would have happened anyway but this was much easier and he didn't have to lose any men in the process, then he could certainly be a gentlemen with her. Not that he was worried about the body count but good help was really so hard to find, and if this woman proved to be an asset then he would be sure to do what he could to keep her safe while he took over the city.

"Andy?" A familiar male voice called. She swore under her breath as she looked over to see her cousin standing there, the shock plane on his face.

"Hello Bruce." She said as the Joker stopped beside her. When he did Bruce seemed to notice who she was with.

"What is going on? Get away from her!" He yelled at the Joker nearly forgetting that none of these people knew he was batman so it would be very odd to see him suddenly jump over the counter and beat the sick man to death.

"The lady came to me Brucie, so if you're gonna yell at anyone, shouldn't it be her?" The Joker asked in his normal manner. Andy tightened her grip on his arm afraid for one moment that the Joker might actually send her away before she had a chance to talk to him.

"I am here to represent Mr. J and that's what I intend to do." She said lifting her chin a little as she took a step towards the evidence room, the Joker moved with her so she kept going. Officer Douglas was an old man who looked as though he'd seen far too many years at his job glanced up when he saw them and nodded with a little smile on his face, he leaned down and when the old man stood back he had a box with a lid on it one side said Joker. He handed a clipboard to her with a pen. The pen was topped with a multi colored flower that had gold glitter at the tip of each peddle, it reminded the Joker of the jester hat charms he had seen on Andy's wrist. Andy picked up the box and handed it to him not allowing him to open it.

"Let's get out of here." She said with a little bit of urgency in her voice.

"Mistress," a young officer came up and in a hushed tone spoke quickly to her. "The press is in front of the building they'll fallow you if you try taking him out that way, no sign of the bat." He reported.

"Damn." She paused for a moment then looked at him. "Call in a bombing on 16th and Apple, then send two guys over to blow something up, tell them to be creative." She turned and nodded her thanks to Douglas as she pulled the joker down a hall that led down the back steps. He didn't question her, he didn't fight her, he simply fallowed her and did as she told. This was strange for him but he was allowing himself to satisfy his curiosity.

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><p><em>AN: When I started writing this I did not know about Harley Quinn outside of "The Joker's new pet" by KrystalTheElvishHobbit (which I await the ending of). However my beloved told me of the real Harley and after a little digging I just wanted to let everyone know that Mistress is not her and ANYTHING they have in common was not my intent! ((for those of you going OMG how could you not know, easy I never watched the cartoons or read the comics only ever saw the two movies and Harley isn't in either so there *sticks my tongue out at you*)) _

**_This will be the only chapter with original footnotes, the rest are updated because I've tweaked the chapters... any way on with he show!_**


	2. Ch2: Royal carriage

They moved quickly down the steps of the fire escape, they passed a several cops on the way down one or two nodded and smiled at them but the majority just stared in stunned silence but didn't try to stop them. Andy stopped the decent next to a steel door with a large white number three on it. Someone had placed a purple ribbon on the door handle and Andy removed it stuffing it in her pocket as she turned around.

"Get dressed, we have a moment and I wouldn't want you to lose face." She said with a smirk as he stood there looking at her with cautious eyes as she removed the lid of the box and tossed it aside. She took the box from his hands and was surprised by the jolt of electricity that shot through her when their hands brushed. He let go of the box now eyeing her suspiciously as she held it for him. He removed his beloved coat and was happy to see most of his more expensive and prized knives littered the bottom of the box and in one corner was his deck of joker cards carefully placed in a clear plastic card case, as if to keep them from getting damaged from the knives. When the box was empty Andy tossed it to the floor in a corner where the lid had landed. Joker held the now empty card case to her and she shoved it in her briefcase.

"Now that I don't have to worry about watching your back we can get the hell out of here." She said.

"And just who might my heroin be?" The Joker asked finally.

"Andy Wayne attorney at law, I am your legal representation." She said extending a hand for him to shake it seemed professional, cool, almost like a well rehearsed play. He didn't take the offer to hand, he glanced from it to her face and licked his lips. The Joker had known many men and many women and his line of work but had a gut feeling none were like this woman that stood before and he wasn't sure what to expect from her which was a more than a little troublesome since he built his empire on reading people and predicting their movements. When he didn't take her hand she shook her head and dropped it to her side should quickly opened a briefcase and checked inside for something pulling out the small watch she checked the time she looked back up at him and then turned around to leave through the nearby door. He could see her look both ways and then she turned back to him.

"Come on we can get to my car now, all the reporters that were waiting should be rushing off to the bombing." She said then not waiting she slipped out the door and began walking to her black 1970s mustang that sat close to the door. He stepped into the parking garage and saw the car as she slid smoothly into the driver seat, it had purple and lime green flames on the side and a jester hat hung from the mirror. Opening the passenger door he noted even the locks had the custom covers that seemed to adorn everything around her. She buckled up and looked at him expectantly.

"Yes yes safety first, wouldn't want anyone to get hurt would we?" He sighed as he buckled up, she carefully backed out and then she began to weave the car down the long rows.

"So are you gonna take me home, or for a Sunday drive?" The Joker asked.

"Well since I can't leave your side either that only leaves one location." They reached the ground level and stopped, it was empty just as she was hoping. The press was surprisingly easy to manipulate, all she had to do was throw them a juicy bone and they bent to please her. She reached across to the glove box and pulled out a small mask that looked like a courtesan mask and tied it on tightly then she let her hair down covering the stings. She left the glove box open and he saw there was make up in there as well as a pair of black gloves.

"I thought you might like to freshen up a bit." She commented as they pulled out onto the street, he reached in and used a finger to apply a fresh coat of makeup, he looked in the glove box and saw some moist wipes for him to clean his hand with and started giggling. Andy rolled her eyes and hit the gas any one that was around would have seen the green flames shoot out of the tail pipes as she did so. Soon they were rocketing through the streets and the Joker knew why she had made him put on his seat belt.

"Isn't there a speed limit through here?" He asked mockingly.

"Does it matter? Enjoy the rush while it last." She smiled at him, and had he not seen her before he would have never believe the woman in the police station was the same woman that drove through the streets of Gotham like the devil himself chased them. She watched the road carefully as they turned a corner sharply.

"I've worked hard to get where I am, and I've worked hard to get what I have. I'm not trying to say that I'm ungrateful that the press thinks you've been behind half my work but it is annoying that you get the credit for all my hard work and planning." She turned and looked at him as they rounded another corner, at the other end was a brick wall yet she didn't stop nor did she even slowdown. "You really don't look like a man with a plan." She said smoothly as she reached over with her right hand and laid it on his inner thigh. He groaned inwardly, he had finally met a woman with her head on fairly striate and she was driving them to their death. He couldn't help the involuntary laughter as they closed the last few inches between the car the brick wall, he closed his eyes and only thought for a split second how he wouldn't get to play with his bests pal Bats. Her laughter filled the car, he waited for pain, the sound of metal bending or glass shattering, but all he heard was her laughter mingling with his. She moved her hand and grabbed the brake that sat next her seat on the floor as she turned the sharply to the left throwing it into a drift that any street racer would have envied. She kept the wheels tight as the car came to an abrupt stop. She got out and shut the door without saying a word to him; he quickly undid his seat belt and fallowed her. The building they were in had assorted cars, vans and trucks in a multi colored line on one side of a large well lit tube. He could see hoses and fans leading there. On this side the vehicles were all lined up and organized with same green and purple flames that her black mustang had. He saw towers of wooden crates of all shapes and sizes stacked across the building. She was walking up a set of steel steps to what appeared to be a camp trailer with a thick blue streak. It looked very out of place here amidst the operation.

"Wait here while I get your car." She said, and stepped into the trailer. He realized looking back at the car it was designed to stick out and the cops were more than likely fallowing her, no doubt that Bruce had demanded as much from Gordon after they left. He looked around still baffled but he was starting to regain himself as several men scurried around. He heard some yelling and looked away from the towers towards the sound, it was then that he noticed the that the image of a wall was being projected from a black box over head about six feet in from the door they had come through. He smiled to himself it was just an illusion, a trick, and she pulled it off seamlessly. He had to give her credit for that he mused to himself as a man came running past him giving him as a birth as he could. The man needed to get to the trailer but when he saw the Joker standing there like a guard dog, with his eyes watching every move the small group of men made he actually thought about not running to get his Mistress. As quickly as that thought came he dismissed it, Mistress had saved his ass and he wasn't about to disappoint her like this so ordering the other men to hold their prisoner down he ran to where he knew she would be avoiding the other man as best he could.

"Mistress!" He called as he reached the bottom of the steps, she must have been just walking out any way because she stepped out so suddenly that he almost ran into her and had to gab the railing to right himself as he felt a little off kilter with the sudden stop to his momentum.

"What?" She snapped impatiently. She really wanted to get Joker out of Gotham and back to her hideout.

"We've found a rat, Mickey and I were scouting the new cars you asked for when we passed by and saw Bail talking to a cop in a restaurant, at first we didn't know what to think but he was in there for at least an hour and half that we saw." The man panted out in a rush. The Joker had to give it to the man, if his goons could say so much in one breath there might be a few less dead. He shook his head to himself giggling in that way that made you feel as if he got some unheard joke, on second thought no there probably wouldn't. Andy looked over at the Joker scowling but didn't say anything just waved her hand dismiss fully at the man who scurried off back to his captured prize. The Joker had the distinct impression of a large dopy dog bring his master a dead rat as present which sent him into another fit of laughter. Andy had the almost uncontrollable urge to walk over and smack what she could of that smile off his lips, but she refrained and walked by him with her head held high.

"Come on or I'll get a leash for you." She said in a low tone as she walked by, there was haughtiness in her voice and the Joker felt his member jump.

"Don't forget the whip, Missssstress." He said her name long and drawn out in a way only he could and made it feel dirty to her and she felt herself moisten. It was strange since this Mistress clearly the dominated these men and that was not his style, HE was the dominator in all his relationships, and in addition the thought of her actually trying to put a leash and collar in him was quite amusing. Still cackling like a little school girl he did as she commanded, he had nothing to lose by playing her game for now.

"Mistress, I swear I didn't tell them anything. I was just trying to get information, honest!" The man on his knees begged.

"Shh," she said placing a finger over his trembling lips. "Now you're going to tell me everything that was said while you talked to the nice policeman, and if I think you're lying or leaving anything out I'll let Sarge have his way with you." She said in a very soft velvet voice. Even though the Joker didn't know who Sarge was he could see that the man paled several shades.

"I went there to get something to eat, and I heard over the radio about the bombing, the cop got up to leave and I wanted to keep him distracted, to give the boys time to get away." He said in one breath.

"Sarge you have use of my room, I want a complete report of everything this little rat has done. When you're finished you may have him as your new toy." Mistress said looking up and the large man that held the back of Bail's neck. Sarge got a large grin on his face and picked the man up by the neck and threw him over his shoulder like a sack of flour as he walk to the trailer. Mistress didn't turn around to watch as then the two men disappeared inside the trailer, nor did she look to see the smaller of the two howling and begging screaming pleas of remorse.

"Such a waist," she commented to herself. "When good help goes bad, do you have that trouble often?" She asked the Joker.

"From time to time I do find rodents scampering about but I find that I have a knack for extermination." He replied flatly not going any further.

"Unless that rodent happens to have wings," she said sarcastically. She was rewarded with his manic laughter.

"Mistress," the first man said brings her attention back to him before the Joker could respond. "We delivered the flowers and we found all the vehicles you requested. They should be here and ready for your use in a few days." He said in a pleased tone.

"Good," she said and then without warning she hit him hard across the face with the back of her hand and the man hit one knee. When the man looked up he had blood trailing down one corner of his mouth. "Next time we have a guest in our home you will not bring such filth before him. Do you understand?" The Joker couldn't help but laugh, she was upset that her nice clean image had been marred. He could see that she felt belittled in some way and even more laughter bubbled out of him.

"I am sorry Mistress! I didn't think-" the man began.

"No you didn't think!" She snapped cutting him off. She threw him forward on the ground and then proceeded to walk off. The Joker stood there laughing down at the man, he heard a car engine start somewhere nearby turning his head towards the sound he saw a car that was the same purple as his suit with a green top, he could see the inside had the same color green leather.

"Ooo are we going somewhere?" He asked as Andy getting out.

"Yes we are but you're driving, I'll just be telling you where to go." She smiled at him.

"Bossy tart, aren't ya?" He said licking his lips. She didn't reply as she stepped past him and bent down and picked up the man by his hair that was still lying on the ground.

"You were asked a question." She said in that same velvet voice.

"I-I d-don't know M-Mistress." The man stuttered, clearly this was not the first time she had beaten him since she had him so well trained but the Joker figured that she must like the man since she was being so gentle with him. He wondered if she were always this gentle how she got so many men working for her. She walked to the black car without a word and leaned in to get her briefcase, in order to do accomplish this she had to bend over and reach into the back, she heard whistling from behind her and knew it was the Joker.

"Next time, take a picture it will last longer or so I hear." She said standing back up and shutting the door, there was a smile on her face and the Joker knew that she hadn't minded one bit. She walked to the car door and slid into the passenger seat. He fallowed cue and walked around and slid into the driver seat. The car was a four door with a long bench seat across the back; there were latches on the back windows where you pull it down so you wouldn't have to shoot through the glass. He noticed that there was a grinning joker on the steering wheel and that most of the car seemed designed for him.

"Happy belated birthday." She said to him sarcasticly, as he hit the gas. The car rocketed out of the warehouse and down the streets.

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><p><strong>Alright guys here is chapter 2, please understand that not only am I NOT a professional writer but I also have my own ideas of how Mr. J would or would not act. I say this only because I've been told before that I was writing him wrong and to you I say: Thank you for telling me of my lack of writing skill, that I would like to work on. HOWEVER if you don't like what <em>MY<em> Mr. J is doing then stop reading and go write your own! (LOL sorry, got sick of trolls on another site... that's why I'm here now)**


	3. Ch3:Home on the range

**And fyi the "happy birthday" comment about the car was sarcastic and it's a copy of the Joker's car from the original Batman with Adam West… thought it would be cool, there is no real reason for the car other then its totally epic and got some kick ass abilities!**

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><p>"Head towards the north end of town." Andy said taking off her mask and sticking it in her pocket, the Joker only laughed as he turned sharply onto another street and increased his speed. Suddenly music played though the car playing the course of Dreamin' by Kiss and Andy reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone and flipped it open.<p>

"Yes Bruce?" She questioned. Joker didn't have to listen hard to hear the man at the other end start screaming at Andy.

"Have you taken complete leave of your senses? Where are you? Don't you know that man is insane? I'm coming to get you!" Andy had tilted the top half of the phone away from her as Bruce ranted, keeping the bottom half in the same spot so he could hear her when she talked.

"I am not a child Bruce; I neither want nor need your approval for what I choose to do with my life. I thought I made that clear when I became a defense attorney rather than working for the DA like you ordered me to do. As for my client he is a certified genius and IF he had wanted to kill me you wouldn't be talking to me right now. So you, the commissioner and Batman can all go screw yourselves." She clicked her phone closed and held on to it for a few moments. Soon the song played again and Andy opened it automatically but as she lifted it to her ear her phone was suddenly slipping out of her hand. For a split second she thought she dropped it but turning her head to her left she saw the Joker's hand pulling back with her cell in his hand.

"Hello Bruccccey." The Joker hissed into the phone, the other end exploded as so many people yelling at once that it sounded like static; Joker pulled the phone back and glared at it in such a way that Andy had to suppress laughter. He clicked it closed with waiting and for a brief moment Andy was scared he was going to toss it out the window but he just threw it into the back seat. As the music played again she started to reach for it but the Joker simply blocked her access with right arm.

"Do you really want to deal with that?" He asked, Andy stopped and looked at him for a long moment before she turned around and clicked on the stereo.

"Have you ever heard of ICP?" Andy asked, she didn't bother to tell him that she had gotten this specially for him thinking that he might like it. The Joker shook his head then he heard music few seconds later the male singer came on. He listened to it and found he liked it, although he normally wasn't known to be big on music he did in fact like a wide range. The next forty five minutes was spent with Andy rocking out and the Joker laughing as he sped through the streets of Gotham to the north side of the city. Here and there a cop would try to chase them but Joker would quickly lose them without much trouble. When they got closer to the various streets that lead out of town in all directions Andy killed the music. She opened her mouth to say something but her phone rang from the back seat this time it was elevator music.

"I don't know who it is." She said to the Joker who nodded, so she reached into the back and grabbed it flipping it open clicked on the speaker phone.

"Miss Wayne where are you?" Came a raspy voice politely that she didn't recognize right away and was about to ask who it was when the Joker interrupted her.

"BATTSIE!" He squealed with glee.

"Joker, What have you done to Andy?" Batman said quickly losing his manners.

"Now I don't think that's a very nice tone Batty." The Joker said disapprovingly and Andy was happy just to hold the phone up so the two could talk. Let Batman think whatever he would she was sick of being treated like a 12th century glass vase by the people that should have known she was stronger than that.

"If you've hurt a single hair on her head I'll will" Batman said but Andy cut off the rest of his words with the sounds of screaming and moaning like a woman caught in the best orgasm of her life.

"Gotta go." The Joker stated picking up on her cue and Andy clicked the phone closed on the sound of rage and string of very colorful words from Batman. The Joker and Andy both started laughing hysterically as Andy pointed to a road that was fast approaching.

"Oh I wish I could have seen his face for that." Andy said as the Joker turned sharply onto the street she had indicated.

"I think you may have damaged his ego." Joker commented as the city ended and was replaced by trees and fields of grass. Andy only laughed as she opened her cell and dilled another number then placed her phone to her ear.

"Tell Vic he can move now." She commanded and then snapped the phone closed. They drove down the increasingly winding road in silence for a little while before either spoke.

"So why did you spring me?" He asked for once being as serious as the Joker was capable of being. True he was only following his curiosity as long as it amused him since at this point in time he was technically a free man. It was an odd feeling that he wasn't used to, nor was he entirely sure he liked it.

"You don't do me any good in jail." She replied truthfully. She didn't add that it had taken every bit of influence she had and the threat of her leavening her firm to get his case, nor did she add that she also found him incredibly sexy. She turned the last thought over in her mind as she glanced over at him, even though his makeup and the scars she couldn't help the rush of heat that spread through her.

"What do you plan to do with me?" He asked he voice changing ever so slightly as he licked his lips like a hungry wolf.

"Well first I'm going to take you to my estate and make sure your body is fully satisfied. Then if there is anything left of you, you're going to help me plan." She whispered huskily. She couldn't believe it as the words slipped from her mouth unguarded, she normally wasn't this brazen without her mask on but something about this man pulled out the Mistress in her. He shifted in seat slightly at her words and glanced in her direction he noticed the blush coloring her cheeks and the slightly shocked look in her eyes as she quickly looked out her window. He couldn't help but laugh at her, how many women had thought of getting him in bed and paid with their lives, still she wasn't bad to look at even for a Wayne.

"I believe that would be unethical Miss Wayne." He said chuckling. Her head snapped back around to look at him and he didn't have to look at her to feel the anger and hurt coming off her in waves. It wasn't that she couldn't take rejection far from that actually, she had come to expect it from all men. Most days she still marveled at how easily it had been to train her men, but most of them had been given to her by other clients that she had helped get out of their charges with little to no restitution; even more rarely the person would have community service. She made it a point to make the jury or judge feel that locking up her client would serve no purpose and there for whatever punishment they received still left them out to wonder the streets of Gotham. Some of her clients had even requested her personally before they turned themselves in so that they could once again walk down the streets untouchable by cops.

"Turn in at the next drive way." She said looking back at the road. The Joker laughed mockingly as he followed her instructions. The driveway was lined with oak trees spaced along either side; the Joker could see horses out the driver side and rolled his eyes inwardly. Suddenly he realized that her 'hideout' must have been her family's home. He hit the brakes so suddenly that Andy, who had forgotten to put her seatbelt back on after retrieving her cell from the back seat, smacked her head into the windshield.

"OW!" She yelped in pain at the unexpected pain.

"Where are we?" The Joker demanded

"Fuck you could have just asked, there was no need to slam on the brakes!" She said glaring at him as she touched her fingers lightly to her the spot that had hit the solid glass, pulling them back down she saw they had some blood on them.

"Where are we?" He demanded again not willing to be deterred although for some unknown reason he did feel a little bad that he had made her bleed since that's not what he meant to do.

"It's my house; I bought it for myself under a false name. You're the first person that has been here other than the most trusted of my crew. Now would you please get to the house I'd like some ice for my head." She demanded she was surprised when he let off the brake and resumed driving up the drive way.

"Now was that so hard to say?" He asked mocking her. She didn't answer or say anything as the trees ended and the house came into view. It was a large gray house with ivy crawling up the side of the building, it had at least sixteen windows across the front, above the front door was a balcony just large enough for a person to step out on but it was wide enough for four men to stand shoulder to shoulder, currently only one man stood on it and the Joker could clearly see the automatic rifle in the man's hand. Joker pulled in putting the passenger door closest to the house. He suddenly wondered why he did this as he shut off the car and got out; Andy reached for her brief case then for the door handle but the door opened before she could pull the silver handle. She looked up at the Joker who offered her his hand.

"A higher class of criminal." She smirked as she took his offered hand before he could pull it back. She didn't want to offend him but she wanted him to know that she wasn't afraid of him. He on the other hand simply didn't care if he offended or upset her, but he didn't want to kill her or damage her too bad since she was being so helpful and she had given him a very nice car he mused shutting the passenger door. Suddenly one of the heavy oak doors of the house opened and a woman in long black dress stepped out, she looked to be in her late fifties with cinnamon sugar hair. When the woman saw the blood on Andy's head she gasped and shot the Joker a look that could have killed him, he started laughing and that only seemed to upset the woman more.

"Nancy its nothing," Andy said trying to assure the older woman.

"It's always nothing!" Nancy snapped back. "You can't come home just once, JUST ONCE, in same condition that you left in? Where were you when she was getting hurt? Rolling on the ground laughing at her?" Nancy said snapping at the Joker when his laughing continued.

"He was driving, now that's enough just send some ice up to my room please." Andy said calmly. Nancy turned on her heals and stormed into the house.

"Sorry about her, Nancy saved my life and she is kindda take up the post of mother hen. All the men love her, and she is better than any doctor at Gotham Central." Andy said to the Joker who was still snickering. "Come on I'll show you to your room." Andy said walking in to the house.

Inside was just as grand as the outside and it was something he expected from a Wayne, when you stepped into the house there were two large staircase that curved around the edge of the room, at the top of the stairs was a hall way and a set of dark oak double doors, Strait back he could see a dining room table with glass doors that lead to a patio and swimming pool out back, between the two staircase stood a pool table with clawed feet and it too was a dark wood. Andy turned and went up the left side of the stairs, everything seemed to be made of wood and stone, the colors where dark shades of brown, a blood red and black, if something was accented it was mostly done in silver although he could see the glimpse of brass here or there. The large chandelier was held up by thick black chains and it was a black made out of wrot iron. He couldn't help but feel like he had just walked into a castle.

"You're welcome to go where ever you like, I don't know what you like to do in your free time but there is a swimming pool, horses, this is the library she said indicating the double doors at the top of the stairs as she turned left and walked down the hall. "Your room has a bathroom attached to it and everything you need should be in there if you need anything else felt free to let me or Nancy know." She continued as she walked down the long hallway. Finally she stopped at the last door and turned the key in it until it clicked. Then she handed the small key to him, he noticed it had a joker head on one end and he smirked to himself as he followed her into the room. This room looked like it had been decorated with the help of the Insane Clown Posse, he absolutely loved it.

"Your closets over there, the bathroom is through that door and if you need anything you can just press the intercom. Your dresser has some toys in it for you and the shooting range is out back if you want to use that." She pointed at the different things or in the direction of whatever she was speaking of. He walked over to the closet and opened it and was surprised to find several suits and jackets that matched the one he had on as well as a few suits in gray, blue, and dark green. He stepped over to the dresser and opened up the top drawer that had several pairs of boxers and socks, and of course they all had Jokers adorning them. He shook his head and laughed as he closed that drawer and opened the one below. Butterfly knives covered this one all lined up neatly in a purple velvet display.

"These are false drawers," She said quietly next to him she reached her hand in front of him and slid the tray of butter fly knives back to revel switch blades, when she slid that back there were basic pocket knives and under that was the bottom tray of throwing knives. She closed the drawer and opened the next one down a tray of ammo, she let him push the tray back and found various hand guns. He began laughing like a child in a candy story that was just told he could have whatever he wanted. He closed that drawer and opened the bottom drawer which was disguised to look like two separate drawers till you pulled it open, three trays of grenades were in this drawer. His joyous laughter settled to snickers again as he stood back up.

"So many toys," he said licking her lips. Suddenly he stood up and kissed her, he had never met a woman that hadn't tried to change him or figure him out. This woman though, this Andria Wayne who lead a secret life as a mob boss under the identity Mistress had walked in to his life only a few hours ago and handed him his freedom on a silver plate, as if that wasn't enough she took him to her lair, gave him a car should he choose to leave and had a room ready with so many toys he didn't know which one to play with first. He was beginning to like this woman, try as he might to give him a reason to hate her she hadn't yet. Joker started to lose his ability to think, her mouth was hot and welcoming begging him to explore it completely. Her hands went to his hips wanting more but allowing him to set the pace, then as quickly as it started he broke off the kiss, and stepped back. She didn't say anything only looked at him a little disappointed and ran a finger under her bottom lip to remove the lipstick that was smeared there, be it his or hers he wasn't sure. He looked back at the dresser pulling open the drawer of knives.

"Dinner will be severed at six and I'll show you to the shooting range after dinner if you'd like." She said after a moment of silence. He turned and grabbed her again and brought her back to him, she was like fire in his arms. He reached down to her knee and ran his hand up under her skirt feeling the nylons she wore. Then about half way up there was a leather scabbard strapped to her thigh and he had a feeling she was never without this knife. With every ounce of control she had she pecked the Joker on the cheek and pulled away, then turned to walk out the door. Joker watched her leave laughing to himself, he was enjoying his time with this woman and that surprised him. Still he was beginning to wonder what she wanted of him; he wasn't a pet and would only let this go so far.

Forty minutes later there was a knock on the his door, he had time to shower change and was pleased to find more make up in the bathroom and he reapplied his war paint after the shower. He walked to the door refreshed and opened it there was a short man that was as wide as the door and reminded him of an old cartoon bad guy, the Joker started laughing.

"The Mistress requests your presence for dinner, mi'lord." The man said in a deep accent and the Joker wondered what Andy's orders were to her men on how to address them. The man turned to leave and the Joker fallowed him pausing for a second only long enough to lock his door. When they reached the dining room there was classical music playing quietly from a small stereo and several men stood around to the walls. Andy greeted him dressed in a pair of black velvet pants and short sleeved shirt that clung to her upper body while leavening her belly exposed, the pants had a jester hat over her right thigh as if marking it. The Joker wondered if he squeezed her hip there how she would react but he quickly dismissed the thought. Andy walked over to him her hips swaying more than they had when she had left his room, he noticed that the pants belled out at the bottom around her feet which were bare and once or twice the pants pulled just enough that he saw the metallic purple nail polish.

"Please have a seat anywhere you would like." She said quietly, he knew then why the men were all standing, they were waiting for him to sit down. He started snickering and she blushed looking down she tucked some of her hair behind her ear when it fell forward, it was then that he noticed her lips here still red with his lipstick but it looked as if she had applied something over it. He walked over and sat at the head of the table where he would have a clear view at the door should he need it. Andy walked over and stood behind the chair to his left with her back to the door, either she was sure no one would attack them here or she trusted him to watch her back either way he wasn't sure how he felt about it. After she sat she nodded to the rest of the men who quickly and quietly found their chairs.

"These are the few that have proven themselves and aren't in the city. I have around a hundred and fifty that I watch over. You've met Vic, Mickey, and Sarge. This is Billy, Domino, and James." She said indicating to three men closest to them.

"Gentlemen," the Joker said in acknowledgement before turning back to Andy. "How did you come by this lifestyle?"

"Oh come now, you should know better than to ask such a question." Andy replied in a teasing tone as she tucked one leg behind the other knee. The Joker shook his head and was about to speak when Nancy came out with two plates and sat them in front of the Joker and Andy. Soon several more women appeared all in French maid out fits caring plates of food that were sat in front of the other men. Andy looked at the Joker expectantly as she placed her napkin her lap. He picked up his knife and fork taking the hint and cut into his meat and took a bite. The meat was beef and although it looked firm it seemed to melt in his mouth, it was cooked and seasoned to perfection and the Joker couldn't remember if he ever tasted anything so good, and for the first time in his memory the Joker could not laugh or chuckle as he looked up to Nancy who stood back a little bit nervously wringing her hands.

"That is the best damn thing I've ever tasted." He said as he cut off another bite and popped it into his mouth, the meat reacted the same and he took time to savor this bite. Andy laughed a little because to her he looked like a man on death row who just received his last meal, then she began to eat hers and the rest of the men followed suit.

"Why do you have everyone waiting on me?" The Joker asked, Andy figured he didn't mean servants and finished her bite of mash potatoes before she answered.

"Curtousy to ensure the guest's pleasure first." Andy said cutting up her food.

"When will you tell me what you want me for?" He asked even as he ate.

"I find that talking work at the dinner tables ruins one's appitite." Andy said with a smile. "Can we talk about it after we've ate?"

"If I say no?"

"Well you'll still have full access to the estate and its full grounds, everything I've given you will be yours to keep. However I will have to ask that you remain here while we wait for your trial, but either way we will need to deal with your men." Andy said then took a small bite.

"What do you plan to do with them?" He asked setting his fork down and testing the wine Nancy held for him to sample. He set the glass down and nodded silently so that Andy could continue.

"Well the ones that are in jail I can't help but your furry friend knows where you've been staying now so I would recommend moving them here." Andy said, Nancy had filled his glass and was working on hers.

"You said you'd give me what I want most, what would that be?" He asked.

"It's no secret you like Batman, so I think it's only fair to get you a bat sized cage." Andy said. Somewhere down the table someone mumbled the word fagot, the Joker reached for a gun to shoot the person he thought had said it but has his hand griped the butt and pulled gently Andy was had already thrown and released her steak knife hitting the man just to the left of the one Joker thought said it. The knife buried into the man's jugular and blood bubbled down the two men to either side jumped a little and leaned away.

"Get that out of here" The Joker ordered, the two men that had jumped now rose and quickly and quietly did as they were told with the dying man. "You were saying my dear?" The Joker said to her.

"Just that once you catch your fuzzy new pet you'll have to have a place to keep him," Andy said taking another bite of her food. The Joker didn't respond and the rest of the meal was finished in silence everyone seemed to be lost in their own thoughts.

"Come with me to library," Andy asked the Joker as the plates were taken away. It wasn't an order but it wasn't a request either. Andy got up and walked off leavening the Joker to make up his own mind, the rest of the men at the table looked at him questioning he ignored them and got up to follow Andy. He hadn't decided if he wanted to go to the Library but he certainly didn't feel like sitting in a room full of her men, so he rose and exited the room and walked up the stairs pausing outside the library doors, Andy was sitting at a high backed chair at a large desk. He stood at the threshold for a moment in contemplation, she glanced up at him then back down at her work without any other form of acknowledgement. He walked over to her, he sighed inwardly he really hopped that this day would not be the start of a trend.

He stood behind her looking at the map spread across the desk; according to the seal it was of a two story jewelry and clothing store named Aurulamie. She had several colored pens scattered across the desk and to the left was a spiral note book with a legend carefully made, some of the top things she marked were the cameras, store security, brake rooms, bathrooms, entrances, exits, fire escapes and much more. Crumpled papers littered the floor and she had several blank sheets next to her, he watched her work carefully on this project noticing she would watch her write something then under it she would list several ways that whatever she wrote could be stopped or hindered. She had several gold stars outside the building and looking over at the legend he saw a matching gold star next to it was written one word, Batman.

"Your inviting Batty?" He asked a little surprised that she made sure to allow for him.

"Well I figure that most of the men I've defended that didn't turn themselves in were captured because they only had one or two plans and neither of them accounted for the flying rodent." She said crossing off something on the paper then looking up at him.

"So this is your answer?" He asked sarcastically with a laugh.

"You got a better one?" She said back not looking up or changing the icy tone of her voice. The Joker didn't like that and for some reason he suddenly felt the urge to throw her across the desk and fuck her until there was fire in her blood, life in her eyes and emotion in her voice. He heard her screaming his name and he unknowingly leaned in the last few inches and his man hood came in contact with her shoulder and he hardened even more. She made a small quite sound of shock but didn't pull away, she shrugged her shoulders to let him know she felt him and to leave it up to him if he moved away. He did move but not like she expected as he moved his hips to rub is hard shaft against her. He forgot any of what he had been thinking and wanted only to take her there and then but she suddenly rose to her feet and turned to face him. He hadn't realized that without her heals on she only came up to his chin, he really doubted that her size would affect the wildness within her but even that thought was robbed of him as she placed her hand on the outside of the material where his member was hard and throbbing. She was pleased to feel it heavy and large in her hand she rubbed it through the material and her heart seemed to catch in throat. Suddenly she threw her arms around him and kissed him with a wild abandon that was completely out of charter for her in any form. She squirmed and slowly turned back around and started to walk off, but the Joker was faster and he grabbed her hips pulling them back. He felt the jeweled joker face on her pants under his finger tips and he couldn't help but follow through with the idea he had earlier, he pressed on the spot and she buckled under him in a wave of pleasure.

"Please, not here." She whispered in a pleading voice, he laughed in response.

"Still a proper Wayne on the inside, I see." He said in a husky tone. The jab was enough to cause her to turn around and kiss him passionately as she seductively rubbed her body along his. He groaned and leaned into her, he had met so few women that could make him burn even though there were many he had sex with it was only a physical release. However when Andy kissed him all he felt was her lips, soft and demanding, begging for him to kiss her, and he couldn't resist their pull not that he really wanted to right at this moment. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the cartoon like man from before poked his head in, when he saw them he quickly looked away and cleared he throat loudly. Joker was growling like a feral dog that was being teased with bone.

"What is it?" Andy said once again she had his red lipstick smeared across her lips making them look fuller and pouty.

"I am sorry to intrude ma'am but there is a call for you." He said not turning around, so the Joker to the moment to wipe the lipstick from the sides of her mouth where they had pressed their faces together. He wondered how he didn't get white on her the way she had been kissing him with such abandon.

"Thank you, you may go now." She said as she stepped over and grabbed the telephone, she noted that she hadn't even heard it ring which meant the person only had the kitchen number where Nancy was so she could screen the calls.

"Hello?" Andy said picking up the phone.

"Andy thank god! Is it true? Are you alright?" A female voice demanded from the other end.

"Yes Ann it's true and yes I am fine." Andy assured the woman, there was affection in Andy's voice and he could tell that this Ann person was very close to her. Part of him dismissed that information while another part tucked it away for use at a later time. He wasn't above using the other woman against Andy if he were so inclind.

"No, I think I'll be out here for a few days until everyone calms down, they won't have the trial for a few weeks so he is in my care until then and I didn't think you'd enjoy me bringing him home, you've never liked my clients staying over." Andy said with a laugh.

"That's because they are all crazy, you have a neon sign that says 'crazy boyfriends wanted please apply here' hanging over your head!" Ann retorted.

"I'll be fine honey, and I've left some money in the jewelry box I got you,"

"Well you didn't answer your cell… In the jewelry box?"

"Yes dear in that little slot"

"OH! I found it." Ann had clearly gone to look for the money.

"Now will that be enough for a day or two?" Andy asked.

"What am I gonna spend a six thousand dollars on between now and when you get back?" Ann asked.

"I don't know." Both the women laughed then and the Joker shook his head at the female banter. Normally he wasn't interested in what females talked about but for some reason this didn't bother him.

"Alright I'll let you go, just be careful."

"Of course baby I've got my 9mm." Andy said teasingly in a British accent.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Ann said clearly not amused in the slightest. "Okay okay I'll let you go I have to work in the morning any way, call me if you need me and I'll see you in a few days. Oh and don't forget you still have to find a date to Bruce's ball this weekend cause I have to work."

"Okay I will, love you" Andy said

"Come home safe." Ann replied and then the line went dead. Andy sighed and hung up the phone, she knew it was always hard on her best friend but she wouldn't lie to the woman nor could she keep a secret from her.

"Who was that?" The Joker asked.

"That was Ann, I'd say she is my best friend but that doesn't do her justice." Andy said with a little smile, like a child with a secret. Andy slipped her hand around the Joker's wrist and gently pulled him from the Library and down the hall towards his room.

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><p><strong>Okay so my net went down and I couldn't post…I tried to post from my cell…I had 7 chapters and my computer crashed I had to get a new hard drive and I lost the whole thing even the fragments I had of later on in the story…OMG ITS BEEN A MESS! I swear the essence of The Joker got into my computer and was blowing things up! (AH-la-la-la-la-la-la-la*BOOM*)<strong>


	4. NOT CH4: This is your song!

**A/N: This was NEVER part of the story and please don't think it is now. HOWEVER since I've received such a... warming response I wrote this specially for those that have been kind enough to share with me their thoughts. Its not every writer that can pull the kind of response I have and it pleases me to no end when you take the time to tell me what you think. So to you the readers, this chapter is for you. (I hope everyone gets the joke, because if I have to explain it then it wont be funny.)**

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><p>The Joker enjoyed watching her hips sway as they walked down the hall and for now he was happy just to follow her, she let go of his wrist as she came to a stop in front of his door. He already had the key out of his pocket. Andy really wasn't trying to lead the Joker on but she had a lot of things to do before this weekend and it was already Tuesday, she turned and looked at him expectantly carefully staying out of his way of unlocking the door.<p>

"I'll see you in the morning and we can go over the plans then?" She asked stepping away. The Joker with a quickness that surprised her moved across the hall and wrapped her in his arms.

"Maybe." He said and kissed her deeply before she could reply. At first she fought but his grip was unbreakable and she didn't really want to pull away from his kiss. No man had ever kissed her like that and made her feel it, not just down to her toes but in EVERY part of her body. Then again she couldn't remember any time a REAL man had wanted to kiss her, let alone one that she had wanted to kiss back. He pushed her onto the bed breaking the kiss, she looked around completely confused.

"How did I…?" She asked, the look on her face was one of pure shock, as the Joker began take off jacket. In that moment the danger that she might have actually opened the door to and allowed in to her world hit her like a ton of bricks. To be perfectly honest she had this same feeling only three other times and like then she simply pushed it out of her mind, she had made her choice now she would live with it and face it head on.

"I knew I was good but I didn't know I was THAT good." He said laughing lightly as he dropped his jacket; this seemed to snap her out of the shock.

"You're not, I was just trying to be polite." Even she had to admit that was the worst lie she had EVER told, she looked down blushing as he started laughing at her. She still wasn't sure how he had managed to not only get her in the room but to lock the door and get her to the bed all without braking the kiss or distracting her from his tongue's exploration of her mouth. Then again she had been enjoying her own exploration hadn't she, as she watched the carpet she wondered absently how many women could say that they knew what the inside of the Joker's mouth felt like. That thought made her darker side pissed and hunger to inflict a lasting pain on each and every one of them.

"Andy you can be yourself around me." He said calmly, something about her sudden quite stillness put him on edge. It was almost the way a dog knew if his master was upset, he started snickering to himself only a few hours with her and he thinking of himself as this woman's pet? He'd HAVE to change that. Just as soon as he got her out of his system.

"I don't know if I can." She answered honestly.

"Try." He encouraged, Andy closed her eyes and thought about what she wanted and about how she would go about getting and then she thought about it from Mistress' point of view. She suddenly remembered why she had started using Mistress, it was the only time she could be herself without fear of scorn or rejection, Mistress was everything Andy always wanted to be but never could as a lawyer…as a Wayne. Andy opened her eyes and looked at the Joker who was now missing his vest, it was still entirely too much cloths for what Andy wanted and though he was taking them off it was with a slowness that she was sure was meant just to drive her mad.

"Come here." Andy said standing up, and to her surprise the Joker walked over to her. When he was close enough she undid his belt, but left it in his pants, then she began to pull his shirt free, then she unbuttoned it and shoved it off his shoulders. He smiled at her and when his chest was bare before she kissed him on the mouth for a moment before working her way down to his throat to his chest, when she would come to one of his scars that seemed to add to his beauty she would kiss it a little longer then move on, her hands were on his hips and she was enjoying making him make those little moaning growls in the back of his throat.

"Andy…" He growled shoving a hand into her hair she stopped a few inches above his belly button and looked up at him. He pulled her up by her hair and kissed her deeply as he shoved his free hand into her pants she was surprised by how easily he maneuvered around her panties, she wondered how many women he'd done this to and suddenly wanted to kill them all, but chances were he'd already taken care of that. Her thoughts seemed to implode on themselves as he finally moved her panties aside and slipped a finger into her hidden entrance Andy held onto his shoulders as her hips began to rock against the intruding digit and her body started to shake, she wasn't used to anyone touching her.

"Wait," She said pulling away slightly, the logical part of her brain trying to overpower the wild side he was bringing out in her. He pulled his hand free and grabbed her hips; she was unprepared for what he did next.

"No." He said plainly his voice was smooth, even and the raw absolute power in it she had heard from only one other man, her cousin, as shoved her onto the bed she felt the fall was just as much symbolic of the situation as it was actually happening. She hit the bed with a slight bounce, she took the cue and pulled her shirt off.

"I…." He laughed and ripped her pants down the rest of her legs, then did the same with the scrap of lace that pasted for panties. He freed himself of the rest of his cloths and wasted no time crawling to her to continue kissing her and feeling her body pressed to his. He started pulling at her bra and seemed to be fighting it, when he growled she knew he was sick of the lacey thing.

"Wait wait I'll take it off." She said as she took it and her bra off quickly. Before she could say anything he dropped his mouth to her breasts and sucked first one then the other to hard peaks then he began twisting them between his fingers.

"Tune in Tokyo!" He said in a fake Chinese accent. She slapped at his hands.

"I'm not a radio, and even if I was you couldn't reach Tokyo from here…is there anything normal about you?" She asked playfully as she started her own exploration of him with her hands.

"Normal is highly over rated." He said half seriously, and then he suddenly clawed down her sides causing her to cry out as her body tried to arch up automatically. He started giggling and began blowing raspberries on her stomach, at first she started to fight and try to push him; this was not her idea of a good time. But the she noticed that while he was being childish his tongue was leaving a trail of fire. She was caught between the two and just when she was ready to give up the turn on he suddenly stopped blowing raspberries on her belly and leaned down to nip at her inner thigh.

She gasped in shock and let her leg move a little for him, he reached up and shoved her legs apart and began nipping not just her thighs but her delicate folds as well, all she could think about was his hot breath ghosting over her hyper sensitive flesh. Suddenly something hot slick and velvety licked up between her lips and her hips lifted up to meet it, Joker began flicking her clit back and forth and sucking on it. Andy couldn't think, she could only feel and she felt like she was going to exploded, her hands found their way into his muddy green tresses they felt like smooth silk slipping through her fingers. Finally she pulled him back to her lips by his hair, something in her snapped at tasting herself on his lips as and she couldn't help but spread her legs a little wider for him.

"Please," she begged. "I need you inside me." Andy looked into his eyes but couldn't see them in the dark room. She felt him shift over her and then something firm was pressed to her nether lips. She lifted her hips and felt the tip of his shaft sink into her. She whimpered which made him chuckle at her.

"A Wayne begging for me? You should be ashamed of yourself young lady." He said pretending to scold her.

"Should I?" She asked not sure if he meant this game or if he was just being a brat.

"Yes you should, don't you know I could kill you? What would your cousin say if he saw you begging for my cock?" Joker whispered thickly.

"I don't care, and if you're going to kill at least fuck me first." She said with a half a smile. He growled and kissed her passionately, as he slammed himself into her. She lifted her legs as he pulled out and shoved himself back into her, this time he hit her back wall.

"You're so tight." He said in shock, he had honestly thought that she got her way by lying on her back but by the feel of her body he knew that he had been very wrong about her and that didn't happen much.

"Really?" She asked and then just for good measure she squeezed her inner muscles around his cock the next time he hit her back wall. Joker made some type of noise and seemed to lose the ability to do anything more than thrust wildly into her. He was rough, demanding, every stroke shook her to the core and reminded her of what kind of man she was dealing with. She felt her climax coming she tried to telling him but he seemed not to notice as he kept up his relentless thrusting. She came and he stopped for a moment enjoying the feeling of her around him. A few minutes later he started thrusting again, it hurt a little but then the pain started to feel good. As he kept fucking her she lost the ability to do anything but wither and moan beneath him, some part of her acknowledged that she would never find any one like this again. He was just the right mix of length and girth to really fill her. She almost felt like he was going to split her in two but it felt so wonderful, and none of her lovers ever abused her back wall like he was but she was loving every thrust. Then she felt something from deep inside her start to tighten around him, with each movement he made it coiled tighter, he felt bigger, rougher, deeper.

"I'm going to cum…" She said breathlessly. He leaned down and kissed her before he moved to her neck and bit where her neck and should met. She screamed out as her body bucked violently into his. He let go of her neck and thrust into her once, twice then a growl was ripped from his body and some part of Andy thought it sounded like it came from is tortured soul but that thought was lost in another orgasm as hot load was release filling her completely. They laid there panting for some time before he slowly pulled his semi hard cock out of her, then kissed her neck where he bit it.

"Will it bruise?" She asked, not really caring.

"Most likely." He said collapsing beside her.

"Good, then everyone will know who I belong to." She said rolling onto her side and laying her head on his chest. It wasn't the response he expected but he wrapped one arm around her and put the other under his head with a sigh. She had quite a nice little pussy and he planned to use it a few more times before this night was over, he thought to himself. He could kill her later, besides when was the last time he actually had a good lay as a free man? Not even he knew that.

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><p><strong>P.S. For those that read the comments as well I have this to say: Bane is the Venom junkie Poison Ivy keeps, I don't watch south park, I said "I've only seen the movies", WOOT RUN ON...and on...and on...and on...and on...and on...and on...and on...and on...and on... ROFLMAO! <strong>


	5. Not good bye!

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